Just a joke I wanted to share...

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says,
"Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;"
And *poof* she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini.."
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asks
"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell." The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St.Peter. St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says.
"No sister, the paper says it was the ' Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

If you laughed, you're going straight to hell!

James the Not So Funny Cook

Feta & Pine Nut Cheese Strudel

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup pine nuts, toasted
• 1 3/4 cups feta cheese, crumbled
• 250g ricotta cheese
• 2 tblsp chopped basil
• 4 spring onions, chopped
• 2 eggs, lightly beaten
• 9 sheets filo pastry
• 40g butter
• 2 tblsp olive oil
• 2-3 tspn sesame seeds

Method:

1. Preheat oven to moderate (180 degrees C). Mix together pine nuts, feta, ricotta, basil spring onion and eggs. Season with freshly ground black pepper. Brush each sheet of filo with the combined melted butter and oil and stack them one on top of each other.
2. Spread the cheese filling in the centre, covering an area about 10cm x 30cm. Fold in the ends of the pastry, then fold in the sides to enclose the filling. Carefully turn the strudel over and place on a baking tray, seam-side-down. Lightly brush the top with a little melted butter and sprinkle with the sesame seeds.
3. Bake for 35 mins or until the pastry is crisp and golden. Serve warm with relish, chutney or salad.

James the Not So Skinny Cook.

Rocotta Con Fritters

Ingredients:

• 200g Low Fat Ricotta
• 1 egg
• 1 egg white
• 1/2 cup skim milk
• 1/2 cup wholemeal self-raising flour
• 420g can corn kernels, drained
• 3 spring onions, chopped
• 2 tblsp snipped fresh chives
• cooking oil, or spray
• 100g low fat ricotta extra
• 1/3 cup ready made spicy tomato chutney

Method:

1. Place the ricotta, egg, egg white and milk in a bowl, and beat together until smooth. Stir in the flour, corn, spring onions and chives. Season with salt and pepper.
2. Spray non-stick frying pan liberally with cooking oil. Add heaped tblsp of mixture to the pan, four at a time, and flatten to about 1.5cm thick. Cook for 3-4 mins each side. Drain on crumbled paper towels. Serve fritters in a stack of 3 and top with a tblsp of extra ricotta and a tblsp of tomato chutney.
   

Marinated Tofu with Vegetables

Ingredients:

• 500g firm tofu, cut into 2cm cubes
• 1/3 cup shoyu (japanese soy sauce)
• 1/4 cup mirin (rice wine vinegar)
• 2 tblsp finely chopped fresh ginger
• 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
• oil, for cooking
• 1 onion, thinly sliced
• 2 carrots, cut into batons
• 1 red capsicum, thinly sliced
• 150g snow peas, thinly sliced

Method:

1. Combine the tofu with the soy sauce, mirin, ginger and garlic in a glass or ceramic bowl. Cover and refrigerate for 2 hours.
2. Heat the wok until very hot, add 1 tblsp oil and swirl it to coat. Drain tofu, reserving marinade. Stir-fry the tofu in 3 batches over high heat until it is golden brown. Heat 1 tblsp oil between batches. Remove all the tofu from the wok and drain on paper towels.
3. Reheat the wok, add 1 tblsp oil and stir-fry the onion, carot and capsicum over medium-high heat for 3-4 mins, or until the vegetables are tender. Add the snowpeas and cook for 3 mins.
4. Increase heat to high and add the reserved marinade, tossing the vegetables in the marinade until they are thoroughly coated and the sauce boils. Return the tofu to the wok and toss until the mixture is well combined and the tofu is heated through. Season well with salt and pepper, and serve immediately.

James the Not So Skinny Cook

Lemon and Spinach Risotto

Ingredients:

• 1.5 litres vegetable stock
• 1 cup (250ml) dry white wine
• 40g butter
• 1 small onion, finely chopped
• 1 clove garlic, crushed
• 2 cups (440g) arborio rice
• 300g English spinach, trimmed and chopped
• 1 tspn finely grated lemon rind
• 2 tblsp lemon juice
• 1/4 cup (60ml) cream
• 3 tblsp free flat leaf parsley
• 1/4 (25g) freshly grated parmesan

Method:

1. Heat stock and wine in saucepan, cover, and keep at a low simmer.
2. Melt the butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add the onion and garlic and cook, stirring for 5 mins, or until soft. Stir in the rice until well coated.
3. Add 1/2 cup (125ml) hot liquid and stir constantly over medium heat until all the liquid is absorbed. Continue adding more liquid, 1/2 cup at a time, stirring constantly, for 20-25 mins or until all the liquid is absorbed and the rice is tender and creamy. Before adding the last 1/2 cup of stock, add the spinach, lemon rind and juice.
4. Remove from heat, stir in the cream, parsley and Parmesan and serve immediately.

James the Not So Skinny Cook

Coconut & Lemon Grass Risotto Cakes

INGREDIENTS:

• 120gm Arborio rice
• 20gm chopped onion
• 20gm butter
• ½ litre stock
• 200ml coconut milk
• 2cm chopped lemon grass

METHOD RISOTTO:

1. Boil the coconut cream and stock, season with salt and pepper, let it simmer until use.
2. In a thick based saucepan, sweat onion and lemon grass with butter, then add rice, carefully coat the rice with butter with a wooden spoon, add some boiling stock, let it absorb the liquid before adding more stock, cook the risotto for about 12 minutes. Remove from heat, shape the risotto into 4 patties using an egg ring.
3. Heat up some butter in a fry pan, then fry the risotto cake until brown and crispy on both sides.

Great (and simple) recipe to have as either a side or a main, enjoy!

James the Not So Skinny Cook

Stir-fried Crispy Tofu in a Hot Bean Sauce

Ingredients:

• 500g firm tofu, cut into small cubes
• 2 tblsp peanut oil
• 1/4 cup (60ml) soy sauce
• 2 tspn finely grated fresh ginger
• 3/4 cup (130g) rice flour
• oil, for cooking
• 2 onions, cut into thin wedges
• 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
• 2 tspn soft brown sugar
• 1/2 red capsicum, cut into short, thin strips
• 5 spring onions, cut into short pieces
• 2 tblsp dry sherry
• 2 tspn finely grated orange rind
• 2 tblsp hot bean paste

Method:

1. Place tofu in a non-metallic bowl with the peanut oil, Add the soy sauce and ginger, cover and refrigerate for 30 mins.
2. Drain the tofu, reserve the marinade, and toss several pieces at a time in the rice flour to coat heavily. Heat the wok until very hot, add 1/4 cup (60ml) oil and swirl to coat. Add the tofu and stir friy over medium heat for 1 1/2 mins, or until golden. Remove and drain on paper towels. repeat with the remaining tofu. Keep warm. Drain any oil from the wok.
3. Reheat the wok and stir fry the onion, garlic and sugar for 3 mins, or until golden. Add the capsicum, spring onion, sherry, orange rind, bean paste and the reserved marinade. Stir and bring to the boil. Return tofu to the wok, toss to heat through, and serve.

James the Not So Skinny Cook

A note from the Not So Skinny Cook

Well, its a couple of months since I've started this blog, and so far it's just a couple of recipes. So I've decided to put something of merit into words so you can get a feel for what this is about. Aside from food.

I made this blog in a fit of inspiration in response to a good friend of mine wanting some vegetarian recipes from a cook book that I own. Her name is Apryll and you can find her popular blog here.

If you're keen on design she's the blogger for you (there's your free plug Apryll, tee hee). But seriously, as far as design goes she's got her head screwed on.

But I digress. This blog was started instead of just emailing her a bunch of recipes, in lieu of my book philosophy that I'm lending to my collection of recipes as well. My philosophy was garnered from some advice that one of my former bosses told me about books.

He said "Once you read them, give them freely to someone else. The gift of a good story is one of the best gifts you can give and receive."

And so here it is, recipes that I either found interesting, fun, particularly good eating, or just because Apryll wants to cook it. I apologise to those of you who are not vegetarians as the first several recipes will be that way inclined, but i assure you that more will follow that are definitely NOT vegetarian. I apologise to those of you that ARE vegetarian but i believe that food of all sorts are to be enjoyed regardless of which animals were harmed in the making.

I take no responsibility in how the knowledge garnered here is used (isnt that what the German scientists said in World War 1?) I am merely a conduit for the flow of great recipes and the joy that good food brings. Something to keep in mind when reading this; NEVER TRUST A SKINNY COOK!

Stay sharp and enjoy, fellow food lovers!

James the Not So Skinny Cook.

Crab & salmon cheesecake

Ingredients (serves 8)

• 1 1/4 cups (100g) grated parmesan
• 3 1/2 cups (250g) fresh white breadcrumbs, lightly toasted
• 120g unsalted butter, melted
• 1 tbs olive oil
• 5 spring onions, thinly sliced
• 1 long red chilli, seeds removed, finely chopped
• 1 clove garlic, crushed
• 750g cream cheese, chopped
• 3/4 cup (185ml) thin cream
• 5 eggs
• 350g fresh crabmeat
• 3 tbs chopped dill
• 450g hot-smoked salmon* or trout fillets, flaked
• Grated zest and juice of 1/2 lemon
• Pinch of cayenne pepper
• Chervil sprigs, to garnish (optional)

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 180°C (160°C fanforced). Grease a 26cm springform pan.
2. Combine cheese, crumbs and butter, then press onto base of pan. Bake for 6-8 minutes until golden. Allow to cool.
3. Heat oil in a frypan over medium heat. Cook spring onion, chilli and garlic for 1-2 minutes until soft. Cool. Place cream cheese in a food processor with cream and eggs, and process until very smooth.
4. Transfer to a bowl, then stir in onion mixture, crab, dill, fish, zest, juice and cayenne. Spread mixture in pan and smooth top. Bake for 45 minutes or until golden and cooked through. Cool, then slice and garnish with chervil (if using).

Notes & tips

• * Hot-smoked salmon and trout are available from most supermarkets.

Thanks to Katy for this one!

-James the not so skinny cook.